fried rice and fractions

I read something recently that summarized everything I've always freaked out about; it explained that the reason as to why we feel time goes by much quicker as we grow older is due to the fact that each measurement of time is smaller in relation to how long we've lived. For example: a year to someone who's 5 seems much longer than it is to one who's 20 because it's a bigger fraction of their life. 1/5 is much more significant than 1/20. 

It made more sense to me when I thought about how this relates not only to time, but to one's perception of the world. When we were younger, this was limited to what our parents allowed us to see: school, home, some friends, maybe Disneyland if we were lucky. And everything was so important. We knew every detail of the path to elementary school and what made Grandma's fried rice special. The world was ours, because we hadn't yet seen just how big it is.

Now that we've broadened our horizons, it's much harder to pinpoint what makes things so significant. Details blur over and we realize how short and uneventful the path was and that her secret was extra cooking oil and garlic. The precious hours we have outside of our busy schedules are neglected because we're so exhausted and just need to catch up on sleep. 

I slip deeper into routine and pattern as senior year literally passes by. School work, extracurricular activities, and trying to keep up a social life give no leeway for smelling any roses or sitting by the water and sipping on some leisure and contemplation. One of the things I miss most about my exchange year was having the time to step back and appreciate things. As I race through this last year of high school, I hope more desperately that the privilege of having this precious time is waiting for me sometime in the future.

Despite the impatience to begin my life of independence and achieve my dreams and aspirations, a part of me has planted herself on the ground and cries out for childhood and Grandma's fried rice and walking to school with Mommy. She sees the future coming at exponential speed and knows that as soon as she steps on the ride, that there's no going back.

 But she also hopes that later on, she takes the time to step back to look back at herself and sees that life hasn't become a mere jumble of small fractions and tired eyes, rather that she's retained the childish appreciation of every fine detail that would seem insignificant to any other. The world is huge and she's so tiny in comparison, but she's found a way to make it her own.