just some stuff

I realized I haven't updated my situation in a while.

So for the first couple of months, I stayed with a Welcome Family in Seevetal, Niedersachsen (Lower Saxony). There are different reasons as to why one stays with a Welcome Family. Some families don't know if they can commit a whole year to hosting so they want to try it out for a couple months, and in my case, the organization just needed a little more time to find me a permanent host family. As much as I loved living with Brigitte, I had no problem with switching because I knew it just meant a new adventure for me.

Ok, packing all my shit was a bit of a nuisance, but I managed to get everything together. I moved in with Family Storbeck on December 5th. We live in the "marshlands", in a part of Hamburg called Bergedorf. If you look on a map, I'm pretty much directly across the river Elbe from where I lived before.

My new family consists of my host parents: Aurelia and Rainer, and my 2 little host sisters: Kaja and Scharija. We also have a lovely cat named Emmi, who enjoys sweets and scratching on the furniture when no one's around. Kaja and Scharija are 12 and 10, respectively. As the youngest child and only girl of my family, suddenly having two younger sisters was definitely different for me.

It's really weird being the older sister and the exchange student simultaneously. At times I feel I have a responsibility with my sisters. I help Kaja with homework and let her vent about school and normal pre-teen problems. I play with Scharija and teach her how to put on makeup. At other times, I need them to explain things to me multiple times and follow them around the house because I have no idea what to do with myself. But I've been here almost 2 months and really feel at home. My family taught me how to build a snowman, brought me to see Rocky: The Musical, and take the time to make sure I understand important concepts such as the proper way to cook Spaghetti Tacos or gently kick a cat when she's filing her claws on the sofa.

I also switched schools, which was a little bit heartbreaking. I loved Gymnasium Hittfeld and my friends there. The school was situated on a hill in the middle of Kuhdorf and one of my favorite things to do in class (besides paying attention and being on task, of course) was looking out the window and seeing miles and miles of trees and little cottage-esque houses.

My new school is Gymnasium Lohbrügge and resembles my high school in California a lot more. The kids in Hamburg are a lot more "street", for lack of a better word. As tradition on the last day of school before Winter Break, a majority of the school crammed themselves into the main hallway and sang Christmas Carols. It was all incredibly wholesome, there were many a drunk and we moshed to Jingle Bells and Gloria. Afterwards there was a small "Parking Lot Party".

List of Other Cool Stuff I Did

• went to Italy with my uncle and his friend, saw the Statue of David (from every angle possible) and almost had a heart attack climbing the Duomo
• stayed in Copenhagen on a 2 hour layover and ate a 15 dollar chicken sandwich
• visited Hannah Montana and acquired several bruises from a round of tractor sledding
• spontaneously met other students from Argentina and Australia at the train station
• watched Pitch Perfect in German and understand things
• joined a 5th grade German class
• THIS

In which I freak out about time and try to express how flabbergasted I am

I am halfway done with the year. I've been here 161 days and have only 161 days left.

Everyone talks about it. "Oh, where has the time gone? It was just yesterday..." I've heard those lines and variations of those lines over a million times in my 16 years. I began to understand what they meant sometime in middle school, when I realized I could still close my eyes and bring myself back to different episodes of my life.

I'm a pack-rat, a gigantic sentimental clusterfuck. I collect anything you could possibly think of: books, bottle caps, magazines, anything. But my most cherished collection is those of my memories, as painfully hipster as it sounds. And as well as the other things I keep, a lot of my memories seem useless or boring when they actually mean the world to look back at.

Walking around my neighborhood in the Philippines, my hands sticky from mangoes and my flip flops scraping against the pavement. My mom pulls me to the shade and warns me that walking in the sun would make me darker. 

When my family and I first arrived in America. The plane ride was a little fuzzy but I remember stepping out into the crisp NorCal night and feeling the real cold for the first time in my life. Eating pizza on my aunt's carpeted floor and relishing how soft the ground was.

Going to 6th grade orientation with my friends. We walk through the gym full of screaming 8th graders with pom poms and find ourselves a spot in the middle. Trying to ignore how nervous we were, we discuss our haircuts and new clothes and where we should sit during lunch. 

It's almost painful looking back because I never realized how quickly my life was passing by. And today I realized it's still moving quickly, perhaps at a faster pace.

To think that the time between now and the moment we arrived in Frankfurt is equal to when we have to back home is completely heartbreaking. As much as I miss my friends and family in San Jose, I love it here. I've done so much in these past 161 days. I've gotten lost and didn't care because Hamburg is beautiful to a wanderer. I've made new friends from all over the world. I've made up with friends from back home. I ate a subway station panini in front of the Colosseum and drank wine in Florence. How much could 161 days possibly do to a person? Everything.

To my fellow exchange students, you're the only ones who could possibly understand how I feel. I'm so proud of how much I've done and grown. I've fallen in love with Germany and could see myself wandering around here forever. But I'm so scared of what the future holds. And it feels like it's coming and going right before my eyes and all I could do is sit back and appreciate everything while I still can. We've been through so much and we still have a ways to go. So sit back and hold on tight, kids.

Halfway points are such great places to stop and look back at how far you've come. But don't forget to get on your tip-toes and see how much you've still got to go.