Everyone talks about it. "Oh, where has the time gone? It was just yesterday..." I've heard those lines and variations of those lines over a million times in my 16 years. I began to understand what they meant sometime in middle school, when I realized I could still close my eyes and bring myself back to different episodes of my life.
I'm a pack-rat, a gigantic sentimental clusterfuck. I collect anything you could possibly think of: books, bottle caps, magazines, anything. But my most cherished collection is those of my memories, as painfully hipster as it sounds. And as well as the other things I keep, a lot of my memories seem useless or boring when they actually mean the world to look back at.
Walking around my neighborhood in the Philippines, my hands sticky from mangoes and my flip flops scraping against the pavement. My mom pulls me to the shade and warns me that walking in the sun would make me darker.
When my family and I first arrived in America. The plane ride was a little fuzzy but I remember stepping out into the crisp NorCal night and feeling the real cold for the first time in my life. Eating pizza on my aunt's carpeted floor and relishing how soft the ground was.
Going to 6th grade orientation with my friends. We walk through the gym full of screaming 8th graders with pom poms and find ourselves a spot in the middle. Trying to ignore how nervous we were, we discuss our haircuts and new clothes and where we should sit during lunch.
It's almost painful looking back because I never realized how quickly my life was passing by. And today I realized it's still moving quickly, perhaps at a faster pace.
To think that the time between now and the moment we arrived in Frankfurt is equal to when we have to back home is completely heartbreaking. As much as I miss my friends and family in San Jose, I love it here. I've done so much in these past 161 days. I've gotten lost and didn't care because Hamburg is beautiful to a wanderer. I've made new friends from all over the world. I've made up with friends from back home. I ate a subway station panini in front of the Colosseum and drank wine in Florence. How much could 161 days possibly do to a person? Everything.
To my fellow exchange students, you're the only ones who could possibly understand how I feel. I'm so proud of how much I've done and grown. I've fallen in love with Germany and could see myself wandering around here forever. But I'm so scared of what the future holds. And it feels like it's coming and going right before my eyes and all I could do is sit back and appreciate everything while I still can. We've been through so much and we still have a ways to go. So sit back and hold on tight, kids.
Halfway points are such great places to stop and look back at how far you've come. But don't forget to get on your tip-toes and see how much you've still got to go.
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