Diving into Germany

Today was my 3rd day in Germany. It is now 23:17 and I should be in bed because I have to head to language class tomorrow at about 7:40. But oh well. Carpe diem, YOLO, Man lebt nur einmal, and so on and so forth. 

My first couple of days in Germany can be compared to diving from the "badass" diving board during my school's swimming unit in freshman year.

As I sat around in the shallow pool and watched the brave souls plunge into the 30 ft. deep diving pool, I was thinking to myself "Pfft, those bitches gon' drown".

Ok, I didn't think any of the other CBYX applicants would drown in a mixture of chlorine, water and teenage sweat nor do I think they are bitches but the comparison will make sense eventually. I promise

Part 1: Doubt

As much as I loved the movie starring the lovely Meryl Streep I think my story is a better fit for the title. I doggy paddled around the 5 ft. deep pool with my fellow "beginners" and occasionally swam by the ladder, teasing myself with thoughts of jumping out and running frantically to the base of the diving board. My courage faltered as soon as I stuck my foot on the first rung, and I would hang my head in shame and carry on practicing the Dead Man's Float. 

This is exactly how I felt while thinking about applying. I talked to alumni and classmates who were applying, mulling over the idea of me actually going abroad, but it took a lot of arguing with myself to actually start the application process.

Part 2: Getting My Ass Out of the Shallow Pool

"Ok, Dina," I thought to myself, climbing the ladder and walking steadily to the diving board, "This is it. Now or never. Once you start climbing the next ladder, you either jump or lay down until they call a fireman to come save you."

 And maybe I wasn't thinking the exact same thing as I applied for the CBYX scholarship, but as the time for our pre-departure orientation in Washington DC approached I knew I had to build up all of my courage for the big dive. Climbing the ladder of the diving board was perhaps the scariest thing I've ever done. I've eaten fertilized duck eggs, shot guns, and have been shoved around by an elderly lady in a China Town bakery, but this was the top shit. I had so much anxiety as I counted down the days before my departure, because I knew that as soon as I jumped off that diving board, as soon as I kissed my mother goodbye and boarded the plane, there was no turning back.

Part 3: Freefall

Here is the part where nothing really seemed real. Once I jumped off of the diving board and once I was in DC, everything seemed like some really bad imitation of a Dali painting. The orientation in DC was a dream: it seemed so long as my fellow CBYXers and I drudged through monuments in the humid east coast heat, but in hindsight it's as if the whole thing was just one day.

Part 4: The Plunge

My first days in Germany was like hitting the water and sinking down a few feet, wondering why I ever decided to dive in the first place and thinking I would never see the surface again. My host family greeted me with warm welcome: they brought me to a small tourist resort called Heiligenhafen at the Baltic Sea. As much as I enjoyed the trip and smiling dumbly at strangers who acted as if they had never seen an ethnic person before, I felt as if all ties to my former life had been cut off and I was stuck in a chlorinated German abyss. 

Part 5: Buoyancy

I didn't actually pay attention to this unit in freshman Science but I remember something about floating and surfaces and such. After a few days of wandering about with nothing to do, I gathered the courage to ask my incredibly shy host brother about internet and discovered, very happily, that I have WiFi.

So I have floated to the surface and see all my fellow classmates dunking each other in hopes of forgetting their Geometry test next period. My first day of language school is tomorrow and I'll finally tackle the mystery that is the German language.

But just as I thought to myself wading around the diving pool after my big dive, I sit here ready for bed, thinking:

What the hell happens now?